Double Bastard Ale by Stone Brewing
Best to disregard
this press release. It's unlikely that you possess the sophistication to
fathom the overwhelming gravitas of the potation it discusses. Thus, stop
reading now. Hit delete and retire outside with your fizzy yellow beer. But
if, by some infinitesimally minute chance, you are one of the Worthy craft
beer cognoscenti and you've somehow surmised that you're prepared for
today's release of Double Bastard Ale, then do proceed. With caution.
"This is one lacerative muther of an ale," the braggadocious bottle warns. "It
is unequivocally certain that your feeble palate is grossly inadequate and thus
undeserving of this liquid glory... and those around you would have little
desire to listen to your resultant whimpering."
In a world full of glittery pageants and overproduced Hallmark holidays, it has
become difficult to isolate what is worth celebrating, while eschewing the
insipid propaganda that is spoon-fed to the masses. But rest assured, Double
Bastard Ale's annual unleashing is no such hornswaggle. Nay, it is a moment of
gustatory excellence to be met with fervorous revelry and tintinnabulation.
Double Bastard Ale first graced our little blue oblate spheroid in 1998,
sanctifying the one-year anniversary of Arrogant Bastard Ale. Nothing less than
creating an embiggened version of the already elephantine Arrogant Bastard Ale
would befit such an epochal occasion.
Double Bastard Ale is strictly for those with an unfettered predilection for
bold unapologetic flavor, and it is for this enlightened minority that this
annual tradition carries on today. However, for those who may have been at all
frightened by this obstreperous and bombastic admonition, then please, close the
dictionary you took out and hit delete now. Forget all you've read here of the
Double Bastard Ale, and acquiesce into an insufferable purgatory of fizzy yellow
nonsense. Remain one of the blissfully nescient, one of the mindless, barefoot
sheeple, aimlessly wallowing in a cromulent cesspool of mediocrity. Sleep.
Sleeep…
Double Bastard Ale
Availability:Limited draft, 22oz and 3L bottles
ABV:10.5%
IBUs:CLASSIFIED
Suggested pairings by "Dr." Bill Sysak
Main Course: Roasted/grilled beef, lamb, venison, or portabella mushrooms
Dessert: Crème Brûlée, toffee, figs
Cheeses: Aged Gouda, Stilton
Cigars: E.P. Carrillo Elencos Edición Limitada 2010, Don Pepin Garcia Robusto
Stone Brewing Company
Stone Brewing Co. was founded in 1996 by Steve Wagner and Greg Koch in North
County San Diego, CA. It is the 14th largest craft brewery in the United States
and has been named "All-Time Top Brewery on Planet Earth" by BeerAdvocate
magazine - TWICE! A recently announced $26.6M expansion plan (that includes a
hotel among other lofty ventures) is underway, as are developments to become the
first American craft brewery to open a brewhouse in Europe. Visit http://www.stonebrew.com
for more information.
