Double Bastard Ale by Stone Brewing
This is one
lacerative muther of an ale. It is unequivocally certain that your feeble
palate is grossly inadequate and thus undeserving of this liquid glory...and
those around you would have little desire to listen to your resultant
whimpering.
Instead, you slackjawed gaping gobemouche, slink away to that pedestrian product
that lures agog the great unwashed with the shiny happy imagery of its silly
broadcast propaganda. You know, the one that offers no challenge, yet works
very, very hard to imbue the foolhardy with the absurd notion that they are
exercising ‘independent’ thought, or attempts to convey the perception it is in
some way ‘authentic’ or ‘original.’ It’s that one that makes you feel safe and
delectates you into basking in the warm, fuzzy, and befuddled glow of your own
nescience. Why so many allow themselves to be led by the nose lacks plausible
explanation. Perhaps you have been so lulled by the siren song of ignorance that
you don’t even notice your white-knuckle grip on it.
You feel bold and unique, but alas are nothing but sheep, willingly being herded
to and fro. If you think you are being piqued in this text, it is nothing when
compared to the insults we are all asked to swallow streaming forth from our
televisions and computers. Truth be told, you are being coddled into believing
you are special or unique by ethically challenged “pay no attention to the man
behind the curtain” marketers who layer (upon layer) imagined attributes
specifically engineered to lead you by the nose. Should you decide to abdicate
your ability to make decisions for yourself, then you are perhaps deserving of
the pabulum they serve. Double Bastard Ale calls out the garrulous caitiffs who
perpetrate the aforementioned atrocities and demands retribution for their
outrageously conniving, intentionally misleading, blatantly masturbatory and
fallacious ad campaigns. We demand the unmitigated, transparent truth. We demand
forthright honesty. We want justice! Call ‘em out and line ‘em up against the
wall... NOW.
Double Bastard Ale
Availability:Limited draft, 22oz and 3L bottles
ABV:11.2%
IBUs:CLASSIFIED
Suggested pairings by "Dr." Bill Sysak
Main Course: Roasted/grilled beef, lamb, venison, or portabella mushrooms
Dessert: Crème Brûlée, toffee, figs
Cheeses: Aged Gouda, Stilton
Cigars: E.P. Carrillo Elencos Edición Limitada 2010, Don Pepin Garcia Robusto
Stone Brewing Company
Stone Brewing Co. was founded in 1996 by Steve Wagner and Greg Koch in North
County San Diego, CA. It is the 14th largest craft brewery in the United States
and has been named "All-Time Top Brewery on Planet Earth" by BeerAdvocate
magazine - TWICE! A recently announced $26.6M expansion plan (that includes a
hotel among other lofty ventures) is underway, as are developments to become the
first American craft brewery to open a brewhouse in Europe. Visit http://www.stonebrew.com
for more information.
